I recently learned that my 18-year-old cousin's English Internet girlfriend is coming to the States this summer to live with my cousin's family for six weeks. Before that, he's going to England for a month. A few questions:

1. When his sister turns 18, will she be allowed to bring strange foreign men into the house for the better part of a summer?

2. Being that the only spare bed in the house is in my cousin's room (he's got bunk beds), will the girlfriend be allowed to sleep in his room?

3. How on earth are the parents going to keep these kids from making babies left and right? Let's think about this. Two horny teenagers who have been cyber dating for 3 years (or more?) are suddenly going to be together in real life 24/7 for almost an entire summer. After three years (0r more?) they will finally have the opportunity to lay their hands all over each other for real, not just through creepy cyber sex. But don't worry, they're going to behave like good Christian children...

4. What if my cousin and his cyber lady friend end up hating each other? Sure they've spent the last few years doing the IM and web cam thing, but that's different. All day every day is a whole different sack of potatoes. For that matter, so is real life.

5. What is wrong with this girl that she needs a cyber boyfriend? (I know what my cousin's deal is -- he's a chubby little Wisco boy who likes computer games, Mountain Dew, McDonald's, and anime way more than anybody should. He might actually have a little bit of luck with the ladies because he's a sweetheart, but in order to meet the ladies he'd have to leave the basement every now and again, so... You all know the type.)

And also a few comments:

1. My poor cousin! (The sister.) I can't imagine having to put up with brother's girlfriend for that long. Can you imagine what it would be like to have your brother and his girlfriend on the couch holding hands and making lovey-eyes at each other every single time you walk in the house for six weeks? Or living under the real possibility that every time you go into the computer room, they'll be there making out (or worse)? I mean, literally every single time. My cousin does not leave the house unless absolutely necessary. He really will be there every single moment of every single day.

2. My cousin has never been on an airplane, much less visited a foreign country. This is a family whose idea of exotic vacation is "road trip out west." He grew up in Wisconsin Rapids and has the mentality of someone who grew up in Wisconsin Rapids. I feel sorry for the poor English folks who are going to have to deal with this kid who is incredibly conservative, uncultured, and ethnocentric. I love the kid -- we've always been close -- but dang he needs to get out more.

This should be interesting. I can't wait to meet this girl and hear the stories...